What About My Future?

IMG_6125 IMG_6139 IMG_6193   IMG_6277 IMG_6251
Lately all I had on my mind was my future. I guess it’s not surprising; however, it greatly bothers me at times. Especially since the fashion industry is quite complicating in terms of getting where you want to be. And it’s even harder when you don’t know exactly where you want to be in ten years. Of course I have ideas but not a single one is perfect, there’s styling, blogging (can you even call it a job?) and creative direction (where, for who etc.?).

The problem with the industry is, that in order to get a paid job you will need to complete around five to six internships, all unpaid and usually terrible jobs. Some of us get lucky and complete the perfect internship, but some of us doesn’t include me. I have done one amazing internship back in Poland, and that was the last positive experience I had with an internship.

In fashion, internships are like a university degree. Because studying fashion often isn’t too ambitious and challenging, you need to bring the challenge to yourself. We have amazing lecturers, industry insiders however they’re not going to teach you anything. That’s fashion, and the only way to learn something is to do all those unpaid internships.

Seems quite sad, that firms use young people as free labour because they are conscious of the employee market in that industry. I get it, no one has money these days, but many of those firms forget that if we are to work for free, they need to pass on some experience and knowledge onto us.

Currently I changed my approach towards these internships. I’m done with taking anything just to try it out or just to put on my CV. In all that craze I forgot that my time and health is also valuable, so from now on, if it gets nasty I’m out of here.

But then I get back to the original problem. What to do, to get out there and do something meaningful. When I was younger I had this weird idea that I would actually achieve something important in fashion, and at this point I just want a job which will make me happy and satisfied.  Ideally it would be blogging but let’s be honest there’s too many of us at this point, so why push somewhere where you don’t belong?

Hopefully I’m not depressing anyone but the realities of the industry can be depressing. I know many people who already are quite successful, but all of them have one thing I don’t. The charm and charisma.

If you’re like me, lacking in confidence with huge social anxiety, introvert etc. you’ll understand what I’m about to say. I chose myself an industry where contacts are key, and I’m psychologically unable to gain these contacts. Bad luck I guess, but this pushes me backwards in terms of my success.

On the positive side of this I absolutely love doing my own personal projects, most of which I’ll share soon with you. They bring me so much joy, even though I know my work isn’t perfect and there’s space for improvement.

Let me know how you are handling this whole future anxiety situation. Hopefully it’s not only the fashion people who are mad about this.

Earrings – Claire’s | Sweater – Urban Outfitters | Trousers – Asos | Boots – Gucci

photo by Kuba Polityło Aluwihare


  1. March 21, 2017 / 12:25 pm

    super odważny look 🙂 podoba mi się, szukamy takich osób. Klasyczne buty plus spodnie sportowe – BRAVO. W wolnej chwili zapraszam do Retrokicks 🙂

  2. Ola
    February 27, 2017 / 6:49 pm

    Nie wiem w sumie co napisać, powiem tylko, że z żadną osobą znaną z social media nie utożsamiam się tak bardzo jak z tobą haha, czytając to co tu piszesz mam wrażenie że to moje myśli, które ciągle we mnie siedzą… Ostatnio też myślę prawie tylko o przyszłości. Jestem w liceum, muszę wybrać studia, a mam ogromny mętlik w głowie, brak siły i motywacji do podejmowania jakichkolwiek decyzji co do przyszłości, więc tkwię ciągle w tym samym, co mnie jeszcze bardziej dołuje. Nie mam pojęcia co wybrać. W dodatku mam ten sam problem co ty – social anxiety (nie wiem jak to przetłumaczyć na polski haha), który mega mnie ogranicza, więc wiem co czujesz – z jednej strony nie mam ochoty poznawać nowych ludzi, a z drugiej kontakty są właśnie bardzo ważne jeśli chodzi o pracę, staże, generalnie dorosłość (to słowo mnie przeraża, okay). Wydaje mi się, że prawie każdy przeżywa taki kryzys w swoim życiu, so we are all together in this shit… Trzymam za ciebie bardzo kciuki, mam nadzieję że dostaniesz się na same super staże, które pomogą ci się “wybić” w tej branży, bo naprawdę na to zaslugujesz, masz mega wyczucie stylu i oryginalność, a w dodatku jesteś strasznie kochaną i inspirującą osobą <3 +nie mogę się doczekać twoich projektów! You will slay all of us soon, I promise xx

  3. February 27, 2017 / 6:36 pm

    you look beautiful in those photos and even though I’m not really the fan of your outfit you’re really pulling it off, go girl! and trust me you’re not the only one who gets anxious thinking about future, at least you have fashion and not like me hundreds different ideas that seem so not realistic.. oh well haha you’re gonna be a well known blogger xx
    (pozdrawiam ze snapa haha)

  4. Kaja
    February 27, 2017 / 6:09 pm

    You’re not alone. I am right now in the middle of mock IB exams and I wonder what I am going to do. I am basically borderline failing. I missed all my internal deadlines for IAs and EE, I am unable to keep working regularly with studying simultaneously. I really want to play the violin anyway, at the music academy, which does not require such corporation-like formalities, but the classical music world is based on contacts. And I really suck at being social and I suck at highlighting my advantages. In playing music it is easy to deceive people by putting on a good face. I am a good violinist, but I am not able to build my own image. It hurts my chances out there. So I wonder – what can I do in life if I have zero organisation skills and lack of charm and charisma, to quote?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Looking for Something?