new home, new me

I have been away from the blog for some time. Since my last post a lot changed, I officially graduated, I moved homes, I started applying for jobs and I finally applied for an MA degree. I think moving houses began this whole chain of changes in my life. It almost feels like a new beginning, which I am actually very positive about.

Moving to East London after 3 years of living west was possibly the best decision I ever made. Honestly, my life changed dramatically, I now go out to house parties, concerts dates with my boyfriend and I even managed to go to a fitness class. Everything is so close and convenient (apart from living on the 4th floor but that’s karma for skipping gym way too often). For a comparison for me, it feels like I have lived underground for the past 3 years and only now I’m experiencing life.

At the same time, I think graduating changed my personality. As if the academic me was completely different from the actual me. Might be because I was surrounded by wrong people and had to often alter my work to suit was expected of me. I think it just didn’t really let me be myself and show my personality, but on the side note, I treat those 3 years as a journey to discovering myself. I’m still not 99% sure, but I think I now truly know who I am. And about 50% of this whole discovery involves my love of the past and especially a couple of years between the late 60’s and 70’s. I already talked about it in my last post so I’m not going to repeat myself, but I sincerely have an obsession with vintage and living in a 70’s inspired cave.

My new flat gave me the opportunity to actually decorate it any way I want as it came unfurnished yay! Obviously after 2 weeks I became sick of looking for furniture which was either vintage or had a mid-century look but at the same time was convenient (aka could store all of my shit & art supplies without them being visible to all of our guests) + was fairly affordable for a 20-year-old unemployed fashion graduate (sorry I love saying that it just highlights how sad my life will be after university). I managed to score two vintage pieces from Etsy, a peacock chair from eBay and at the moment I’m on a hunt for a 70’s wallpaper (preferably floral). I have no idea how you put up a wallpaper but oh well I’ll sort it out somehow. All of these choices are also very impulsive, making me wonder if my phase for the 70’s is temporary just like my other phases?
It scares me a bit as at this point as I can’t imagine moving on to a different style but I know myself. What’s worst I already invested quite a bit of money into my style (as well as my Instagram feed, which if you don’t know is a nightmare if your style changes 24/7).

 

However, what’s different this time is that I’m not afraid of going heavily into my new found style.

Previously I was impulsive but I slightly questioned everything, while now it just seems like the obvious choice, which makes me feel a bit safer about the future of my style. In the end, I have spent more than half a year on creating a magazine based on the 70’s which in theory means I should be sick of it by now. But I’m not, so there’s hope right?

I’m probably way more conscious about things like that because people are watching me grow and change. In a way that’s a good thing but sometimes it makes me feel like I can’t make radical changes because they get questioned every time. The most popular ones of course: “You’re doing it because it’s cool & trendy now”, “You said you would never wear this but now you do, but that’s just because a) you got paid or b) you’re going finally with the trends” etc. Which as you may already realise might be quite annoying, and as confident as I am with my style, these comments make you think and doubt yourself. That’s probably why my content switches so fast between minimal, retro and then something totally 90’s. My style is very broad and I’m very indecisive.

In conclusion of all this, it’s good to make changes. It’s good to grow and explore who you are. If you feel you’re not even close, don’t worry, it feels the same for me. Our style develops our whole life, so even at 80, you will probably question if the top you’re wearing is YOU or do you just wear it because it looks good on photos (jk, hopefully at 80 we won’t have issues as trivial as that).

Top – Sacred Hawk || Flares – Free People || Bag & Scarf – Vintage || Boots – Zara

Photos by Kuba Polityło-Aluwihare