I think the most common questions I get from most of you is how do I actually manage to wear all these ridiculous clothes in public, how to be confident with what you’re wearing and how to not be afraid of making a statement.
It might seem hard to imagine now, but I haven’t always been so confident in terms of what I’m putting on to myself. I used to be extremely self – conscious, hated standing out and usually spent my evening dressing up and then going in my grey uniform to school.
So it’s Tuesday afternoon and I’m wearing sequin flares, Saint Laurent glitter star platforms, a lilac faux fur coat, and I feel absolutely fabulous. This day I have also asked myself, what changed? How did I get to this point of confidence?
For me fashion was always a way of expressing myself creatively.
I mean I always painted and did all that artsy stuff but those things were more of a thing I did to just relax and be on my own with my thoughts. But clothes were much more tactile than paint, I could touch them, change them up and I felt really comfortable around them.
Because I have given off like probably more than 50% of my private life to the internet, I was always much more vulnerable to negative opinions since the internet expects you to be perfect. I kind of always grew with this idea that I need to satisfy everyone, therefore I can’t truly express my style and my personality. Let’s be honest, Poland isn’t the most tolerant country in this world and still a lot of even younger girls are very traditional due to their parent’s strong influence. And I was always a bit off from the traditional idea of a teenage girl.
I believe my great fashion break through was actually only last year.
I remember moving to London and kind of feeling this immediate relief, like I’m free. Apart from being literally free, away from my parents etc. I felt I could finally express myself without being judged. It might seem ridiculous but I don’t think you can imagine how many time older ladies saw me at a bus stop and silently prayed for me while doing the cross sign across their bodies. It felt uncomfortable and just weird.
My first year here I was really exploring what was me and what wasn’t me. Because I just started university there were still times I tried to fit in with my outfits and looking back at it, it just wasn’t me. Only in my second year I kind of understood what I like and what I don’t like.
People think that becoming confident in terms of fashion is a matter of a day. It took me 18 years to actually be 100% confident with what I wear each single day (unless my trousers are too long and I trip on the tube stairs, which usually is the case as I’m not a giant). It takes hours in front of your mirror, trying stuff on, getting rid of stuff, experimenting and kind of playing a dress up with yourself.
I feel many of you still worry about what will others think.
I have a simple answer to that: Why the fuck would you care what others think?
Like seriously why? 99% of these people won’t have your best interest at heart, they won’t know your personality and then probably 80% of them won’t even have a decent sense of style.
Like I said my style has been judged by thousands of people, I get negative comments on what I wear daily and do you think I care? No I don’t because I’m finally happy and I feel like myself. We just need to understand that everyone has a different sense of style and not everyone will like what you’ll be wearing, but the most important thing ever is that you are happy with your outfit.
If it makes you feel fabulous, wear it!
I often ask my friends on snapchat for fashion advice, or should I wear this shirt or the other one, and the funny thing is that in the end I will usually wear the choice that my friends dislike. That’s because I have trust in my own style. And having advice is good but that doesn’t mean you always need to take it.
So don’t assume you’ll be confident just after reading this. It takes baby steps each single day to achieve this kind of confidence. Myself I’m still working on it, because I’m a human being and we all get to feel pressure or judgement.
So don’t stress to much, have fun on the way and just trust you sense of style. It’ll be good, I promise!
Photos by Jenny Lafer