the quarter-life crisis

I like to think of myself as a positive person but let’s be honest, those who know me well, also know that a bottle of wine and a complaining session are my favourite things to do when I actually get some time off.

I bet that a large part of you think that I would have nothing to complain about right? So let me quickly sum up topics of my recent rants. Being unemployed, starting a university course that once again is unchallenging and feels like a waste of money, untalented people stealing my jobs, shitty internships, working for free, wasting my time because I need to work for free, losing followers because I’m not showing my ass on Instagram and do I really need to carry on? Basically, nothing in life is working out for me. Even though it may seem like it is working out, from my personal point of view I’m stuck in this one place in terms of my career, blogging and whatever else I’m doing. 

Always when I’m at a job people ask me what I’m up to now and not that I’m not proud of my achievements but I feel I always need to exaggerate a bit to make it feel like I’m moving forward. I usually just say that I freelance, but we all know that at this point being a freelancer means being 95% unemployed. 

So how do we get out of this absolute shit hole when we are not even close to our actual mid-life crisis? In an ode, to me entering my 22nd year on this planet and leaving me with about 60 more years of struggling as a freelancer I made a list of things to do when I feel shit.

 

 

1. Complaining is actually good

While most people will just tell you to shut up because it cannot be true that nothing is working out for you, talking about it is good. It’s good to clear your head, let it all out and find a person who just as you will be able to relate. That’s what I call wine buddies.
Hearing that you’re not the only one who’s so lost in all of this is very comforting, and always leads to you exchanging ideas about your future and what you could possibly do to move on.

2. Stop comparing yourself to others

Obvious right? But we all do it every single day. It’s not always a bad thing because that’s what motivates you to work but all of us push that limit into basically bullying ourselves? Over the past month, I might have cried like two times over my friends getting those amazing jobs while I’m still working as a “freelancer” from my sofa. I also found that a lot of decisions in terms of jobs I will take on or content I produce (oh god or even the filters I use) is based on me wanting to be like others. Instead of being true to myself I’ll do something because I feel I need to be either a) current b) more commercial c) more approachable d) more alternative and the list goes on. In the end, it’s best to take a step back and give a little thought to who YOU are. The path that for others might be successful might just be the wrong one for you.

3. Take some time off

Yeah, you might think, I’m unemployed and I’m supposed to take time off of my already free time? Kind of. My dad always laughs when I say I don’t have time to come home for a weekend or even take Christmas off, because in his eyes I just drink, party, sleep and go to uni from time to time. Which is partially true for the 1/20th of my week. I find that instead of doing things for myself I will spend all of my time on sending out cv’s, creating content for you guys, working on free projects (because I need to feel productive even if I’m not getting paid) and somehow my days fill up. In the end, I worked my ass off and what for? It just kills your motivation and instead of being inspired you end up tired and depressed, eating your 5th pot of guacamole.

4. Understand why things are not working out

Sometimes it’s just a matter of luck and being in the right place at the right time. Sometimes it was just not meant to be. Sometimes it means there is something much better awaiting you in the future. The list could go on.
At times it might be our fault stuff goes wrong (usually it’s not, our minds just have a self-destructive approach to everything), but instead of beating ourselves about it and crying in the corner we can look at it objectively and work on what went wrong.
I always like to think of the positive reasons why things went wrong. Let me give you an example of my constant search for jobs, let’s say I got a job but that would mean I would have to wake up each morning before 7 AM, eat the same sandwich from Pret for lunch for the next 6 months and most importantly have no time at all for my personal projects, styling, blogging. So I might complain as much as I’d like but in the end, I’m in a very good place.

5. Stop being a control freak

Sometimes we just need to let go and let whatever life wants for us to happen. Being stressed out all the time is just gonna give you a heck of a neck pain and put on extra 3kg to that booty of yours. But in the end, did being stressed out ever helped anyone?

 

6. Change

Sometimes we need a change even if we think we don’t. I have the luxury of being what they call a multi-disciplinary creative, meaning that I can do shit loads of things in the industry and no one will question whether I had the education needed for the job or not. For me, change can mean perhaps doing more creative direction rather than styling or trying out a new skill like photography. Not everyone can do that just as easily, especially since most of us like to feel comfortable with our life situations and prefer to not take any risks. But changes can be small or dramatic. It’s up to you.

I think to conclude it’s important to say that those challenges we encounter in life are not there to make our life’s harder, but to make us more experienced. Overcoming those lows in your life will make you stronger and smarter. Think about it this way, the easier something comes to you the less experienced you’ll be in the struggles of life. When you understand the struggles whether small or big, it makes you more aware of your surroundings and the people close to you. So when nothing works out in life, maybe something good is actually happening?

Wow so deep, byee

wearing

glasses - mango || necklace - pretty little thing || skirt - zara || tights - asos || boots - ebay

 

photos from my bday road trip by Kuba Polityło-Aluwihare

4 Comments

  1. November 10, 2018 / 4:12 pm

    Rozumiem Cię w 100% też bardzo często podobnie się czuję.
    Teraz zaczęłam kreatywną pracę part time, ale np. już widzę, że ciężko dogadać mi się z jedną koleżanką z pracy, a czasu też często brakuje na dodatkowe projekty. Bycie freelancerem to dla mnie jedna z lepszych opcji. <3

  2. CharlotteKing
    October 24, 2018 / 11:24 pm

    It’s deep and so true, especially the part of unknown I struggle the most and I need to remind myself daily that I don’t have that kind of power to know what will happen .. and like wtf? It’s obvious I don’t know the future its just I would like to have a plan. Cause all my life every one told me this story of you got a plan, a good one, a great one & things will fall into place. And how can I have that plan if don’t know what prepare for … (Ok maybe I went to deep). PS. Your pictures from this post are Vogue worthy

    • Berry
      Author
      October 25, 2018 / 1:04 pm

      hahaa I totally get it! I think when I was younger I had this plan in my head and suddenly somehow after choosing what seems like a life direction I have no idea what I’d actually like to do. It’s hard to stay motivated without this certainty and knowing even hints of what the future may be like. But that’s how life works and in the end I believe everything falls back into the right place, just as it should be. Thank youuu xx

  3. Ana
    October 24, 2018 / 6:48 pm

    This might be deep, but its just exactly what I needed. Some things in my life also didnt go as I wanted, but thanks to you I understand it a bit more.

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